Settling Twins
By far one of the biggest topics all parents of twins face.
It can sound very daunting, of course. It can be challenging enough to settle one baby, how on earth do you do that with two?!
“I contacted Smadar to help with settling my twin girls as on my own at home during the day it was very difficult to find a method that would work.
Even though we are in France Smadar accommodated us regardless of the time difference. She gave us support and advice on what best to do, how and when.
now it is getting easier every day… some days when we are extra lucky we are able to just place the girls in their beds and they go to sleep no need to settle or put to sleep they do it all on their own. They are 4 months old -3corrected.
Recommend this 100%
Thanks again for all your help!”
The truth is, it is easier when good sleep habits are implemented early on. By that I mean, the more independent (meaning not adult-dependent) your baby is in settling to sleep, the less involved you need to be, and less man-power is needed to settle both. Additionally, the smaller the baby is, the easier it is (physically) to settle both when needed.
I do not wish to say there’s a quick and easy magic trick that will put your babies to sleep at the flick of a finger.
I do mean to say, the earlier your babies form good and independent sleep associations (like a dark room, white noise, swaddling, dummy), the easier it will be for them to learn to self-settle (at 6 months), and the faster it will be for them to learn to sleep on their own.
These kind of sleep associations and habits are rather simple to implement from the beginning. True, your newborns will need to feed frequently, and they will not develop their circadian rhythm until they are 6 weeks old (corrected age). Yet if these sleep habits are in place, settling, and re-stetting, becomes much easier and faster.
When sleep regressions will hit (and they will, inevitably), your babies’ sleep habits will help them go through each regression quickly, and they will restore their sleep routine within days (rather than weeks).
When you are on holiday, a child is sick, sleeping at grandparents etc… the sleep habits you’ve worked hard on will ensure settling your twins will not be an issue.
Top tips for newborns:
Make sure both parents (or support person) participate in the process and settle babies to sleep. Take turns in settling each baby. That way they do not become accustom to only mummy/daddy putting them to sleep, but rather feel comfortable with other people too.
2. Swaddling helps calm newborns’ sympathetic nervous system down, and transition to sleep. When swaddling babies before they get overtired, the process is smoother and easier.
3. Settle in the same cot. You can settle newborn twins in the same cot for the first few months. While they are swaddled, this will make tandem settling easier. You can use rolled-up towels along their tummy to support their posture as you tap their bottom and tandem settle them on their side. Once babies are moving more and you unswaddle them (preferably around 5-6m), it’s a good idea to separate them.
4. Twins learn to sleep through each other’s crying early on. In fact, the earlier they learn there’s another baby in the room, the more likely they are to sleep trough the crying. This isn’t a rule of thumb, and one baby might be more sensitive to this. But in my experience, most twins manage this pretty well. It becomes another from of white noise.
5. Observe wake windows. Newborns have very short wake windows:
1 month: 40-60 min. (premmie babies spend more time in the 1st month stage)
2 months: 1h 15min - 1h 30min.
3 months: 1h 45 min.
4 months: 2 hours.
For older babies:
I find full hands-on methods aren’t feasible with twins, unless you always have 2 adults present for settling. Which isn’t the case for majority of twin families. You can still work with an in-the-room method as you gradually back off support, or remain outside the room and go in to check on them in increasing intervals.
My approach focuses on empowering babies to feel confident that they are capable of settling without adults, so they feel secure in their bed.
Through the RIE lens, my goal is to always help babies find a way to solve a problem on their own, with consistent guidance and support. I want them to feel resourceful and independent.
With that in mind, I find supporting babies’ self-settling process feels much different. I know that even if things are hard right now, they are learning to find self-soothing strategies, knowing that I’m here with them. I trust in their ability, and that helps them trust themselves.
And that’s what I want you to feel too. I want to help you trust your babies’ ability and strength. To know they are capable. It does not mean they need to cry themselves to sleep. It means that learning a new skill takes time, and we need to give them the opportunity to practice so they can learn.
So, long story short: the earlier you work on good and independent sleeping habits, the easier and faster settling your twins will be. Yet you can start at any age. Every baby learns to sleep on their own eventually. What varies is the duration of the process.
With my gentle newborn settling method, you can begin to work on these sleep habits right from the first few weeks.
If your twins are older, there is a range of methods to choose from.
Combine your chosen settling method with establishing good sleeping habits - and you can get on the right track for hands-off settling.
If you are battling with early morning wake-ups, you can download my “5 Reasons for Early Morning Wake-up” to learn how to help your babies sleep longer in the morning.
To learn more about how to settle your twins to sleep with ease, book a discovery call below, or book a package to get your babies on the path to sleep better today.