How to survive with twins?

Surviving with twins made easier

When thinking of surviving with twins, a common thread families talk about is the ratio. The ratio of 2-1 often overwhelms new parents of twins. It seems the sheer logistics of this reality are not manageable.

What I have learned over the years can be summarised in one simple sentence: it’s not about giving every child the same, it’s about giving each what they need. And this changes moment to moment, day to day. The pressure of giving twins the same amount of food, the same attention, the same toys, the same quantity of hugs- can drive a parent mad. Not only is it exhausting, it also does not serve your purpose. By purpose I refer to what all parents strive for letting their children know they are loved.

so How you Beat the Ratio…

What you need and want isn’t necessarily what your sibling does. What makes you happy could easily infuriate another. Recognsing what each twin needs at any given moment can help defuse the ongoing pressure keeping things equal and fair. It also sends a very empowering message to your children that you see them, understand them, and want to provide them with what they need.

When twins know their needs are going to be met they also cease to compare what their twin receives, or what they don’t. When they know their needs will be met according to what they actually want, they can focus on who they are and what is important to them, and build a relationship with you rather than within their twin’s orbit.

Breaking the template of “equal means fair” liberates parents to focus on what matters. It allows them to channel their energy into loving their twins in the way they need, and not feeling they are in a constant chase to please.

If you need help with your twins behaviour, book a parental guidance appointment below, or find out more in a free 15-min discovery call today.