Should twins play separately?
Why Twins Should Play Separately
Twins are often seen as built-in playmates, always having someone to share their time and experiences with. It may seem like an ideal scenario—constant companionship, shared interests, and built-in entertainment. However, while this close bond is valuable, it is equally important to recognise the need for individual space and independence.
The Importance of Personal Space for twins
Every person, regardless of age or relationship, needs personal space. This applies to twins as well. Although they have never known life without each other, that doesn’t mean they must always enjoy or accept sharing every moment.
Constantly having someone in their space—without the ability to choose when and how they interact—can be overwhelming.
When twins feel obligated to always include their same-age sibling in play, they may struggle to recognise and express their own feelings. They might suppress frustrations, assume they must always be accommodating, or even feel guilty for wanting alone time. This can interfere with their ability to develop healthy emotional boundaries and self-awareness.
The Benefits of Separate Play for each twin
Providing twins with opportunities for independent play offers numerous benefits, both individually and for their relationship:
Fosters Individuality – Each twin is a unique person with their own thoughts, interests, and preferences. Separate play allows them to explore their own likes and dislikes without the influence of their twin, helping them build a strong sense of self.
Encourages Social Development – Interacting with other children independently teaches twins valuable social skills, such as communication, conflict resolution, and cooperation. They learn to navigate friendships without relying on their twin as a social buffer.
Promotes Emotional Independence – When twins always play together, they may become overly dependent on each other for comfort and entertainment. Playing separately helps them develop confidence in being alone and making independent choices.
Strengthens Their Bond – Allowing twins to have separate experiences makes their shared moments more meaningful. When they come back together, they have new stories to share, different perspectives to bring, and a healthier appreciation for each other’s presence.
Practical Ways to Encourage Separate Play
If twins are used to always being together, encouraging independent play may require a gradual approach. Here are some ways parents and caregivers can support this:
Provide Individual Play Spaces – Set up separate play areas where each twin can have their own toys, books, or art supplies. This allows them to engage in activities independently without feeling pressured to share everything. When they are very small, even spacing them on the play mat, or placing them on different mats slightly away from each other, will provide a sense of separation for both babies and parents, and allow the parent (or caregiver) to engage with them on a more personal level.
Encourage Different Interests – Support each twin in exploring their own hobbies. If one enjoys painting and the other prefers building blocks, allow them to pursue their interests separately.
Schedule One-on-One Time – Spend quality time with each twin individually, whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk, or playing a game. This helps them feel valued as individuals. For very small babies or solo caregiver/parents, even spending time with one twin while the other is engaged in play on their own can set the scene for invaluable one-on-one time. This will help build the expectation that each child will have their caregiver’s full attention at some point, and will enjoy a precious moment all for themselves.
Organise Playdates with Other Children or Family Members – Encourage each twin to spend time with different friends. This helps them build relationships outside of their twin dynamic and develop social confidence. For twins with other siblings, encourage the children to spend time with each twin on their own, so the children don’t feel obligated to always interact with “the twins” as a set. This will help strengthen the other sibling bonds in the family.
Normalise and Validate Alone Time – Reinforce the idea that wanting personal space is natural and healthy. Let them know it’s okay to take breaks from each other and that doing so doesn’t mean they love their twin any less.
Encouraging twins to play separately isn’t about creating distance or weakening their bond—it’s about fostering their individuality and emotional well-being. By giving them the freedom to explore their own interests, develop independent social skills, and set personal boundaries, they gain the confidence to navigate the world on their own terms. And when they do come together, their connection becomes even stronger—built on choice rather than obligation.