When Both Twins Cry
What to do when both twins cry at the same time?
Let’s face it. Crying newborns can be overwhelming for anyone. It gets under our skin and shakes our hearts. And when both twins cry, it can feel like a tsunami of overwhelm.
In fact, their cry is biologically designed to unnerve adults. That is to get us to react and respond as quickly as possible.
After over 15 years of working with twin babies, I can honestly share that the art of remaining calm in the face of two crying babies does become easier, but it is never comfortable. Here is what I found...
What can we do when both twins cry?
Before approaching the babies, take a moment (it can be a few seconds) to breathe. Pause. Inhale. Exhale. Brace your mind and heart for impact. Calming ourselves is number 1.
Understanding why babies cry is as important as trying to calm them down. What are they trying to tell us? Knowing crying is their only means of communication, and thus acceptable and expected, can make the process more emotionally endurable.
If your babies are overtired, they will struggle to fall asleep, and are likely going to wake up shortly after you settle them. Awareness of their wake windows, and using effective settling methods can help reduce chances of them getting overtired, which will in turn reduce their irritation, overwhelm, overstimulation, and… crying.
You can read more about newborns’ sleep needs here.
If they are gassy or seem in pain, are they struggling to digest their milk (perhaps there is a food intolerance, or, if they are breastfed, sensitivity to gas-inducing foods such as broccoli, cauliflower, etc.), which can increase their discomfort and make them unsettled.
And sometimes, it is simply because they are little and need attention quickly. Yet with twins, when the odds are often not in our favour (1 adult: 2 babies), twins do need to wait, and they can be loud while doing so (which is very understandable).
Outsourcing help in the form of carriers, bouncers, or a pram can help. Yet, sometimes twins need to wait. And therefore, finding ways to ground yourself in the process is the key to getting out of overwhelm. Because trying to calm down a baby (or two) while we are emotionally unregulated is much harder.
How to stay calm when both twins cry?
Examples for grounding exercises while trying to calm down your babies, or when they need to wait a bit:
Hum or chant a calming tune/mantra.
Take deep, slow breaths in and out to lower your heart rate.
Count to 10 slowly, again, and again, and again.
Also important, is to know your limits:
Identify when you need to step out to recompose yourself. Yes, you can step out of the scene when things get too much for you. As long as the babies are safe, you can take a moment to calm down. Do some breathing exercises, scream into a pillow, have a cry… It will help you supporting them for longer, without pushing yourself to the limits. In that case, you won’t be able to help them as well as you probably would have liked, and you will all have a harder time.
Or change the scenery. Take the babies to another room, or outside to feel the sun or fresh air to help you and them “snap out of the funk”.
Calming down babies can take time. Finding ways to remain grounded (as much as possible) while supporting them, and recognising your limits, will make it easier to get out of overwhelm while weathering the storm.
If you need help with your little ones, and for yourself, you can book a free discovery call below or one of Twinful Life’s support packages. Whether it’s help with sleep, or at-home postpartum support, my twin expertise will hep you and your family restore peace and joy to your day-to-day.