Whether you were expecting twins or it's a complete shock - having twins comes with a different set of expectations than singleton pregnancies.

Here are some of the common expectations I've came across over the years:

The pregnancy is going to be challenging
Twins will be born early
Sleep is going to be a thing of the past
Breastfeeding might not work
Partners will need to be more involved
Older kids will be jealous
The twins will be best friends
Twins need to be on a schedule
You will never have a moment to rest

While some of these might resonate with you more than others, and surely you will have your own expectations that aren't on this list, the important thing I share with my twin family clients is this:

If expectations stress you out, it's best to pause, breathe, and focus on the little steps.

What do I mean?

Worrying right now about everything that is out of your control will only add to the level of anxiety and stress. So I like to sit with the parents, and address one expectation at a time, and identify how we can best prepare for each scenario.

What will make this particular concern or scenario easier for you to manage? What would you need to handle it in the best way? Why is this stressing you out or worrying you? Why do you want things to be one way, or another?

The fact is, every family has their own dynamic, needs and particular set of skills and strengths to approach parenting. And if we tune out the external noise and focus on what can be done in the way that suits you and your family, a lot of stress and anxiety can be reduced.

Once babies are here, I like to offer my newborn mothers to focus on 3 goals a day. These can be small, and I like to divide them into 3 different categories:

1 goal for the babies
1 goal for the family/household
1 goal just for you!

A goal for the babies can be: spending on-on-one time, successful feed, successful nap, time outside, mat-time, reading a book etc. Only one thing that will help you see the gigantic process you are actually making.

A goal for the family/household can be: folding a bit of laundry, taking the dog out, spending time with the other children, loading the dishwasher, dinner with partner, preparing the shopping list etc

And a goal for you can be: Drinking a hot drink, having a bath/shower, talking with a friend, listening to a favourite song, eating something yummy, taking a few moments to check your social media/unwind, clipping your nails, resting.

Once you know that expectations are reduced to small, manageable size, anxiety levels subside. If you reach more goals - awesome! By focusing on small, achievable goals, you gradually add to your sense of peace, calm and positive state of mind.

If you’d like to get more support before your twins are here, book a prenatal support consultation below.

Or if your twins are already here, book a free 15-min discovery call to find out how my postpartum support package can help you and your family.

Managing Expectations