Sleep training twins without "Cry it Out"
How to sleep train twins without Cry it Out
A common fear of many twin parents is that sleep training their twins will necessarily involve Cry it Out. After all, there are two of them, so it seems inevitable.
However, after settling twins to sleep for over 15 years, I can assure you that isn’t the case. If you want to help your twins sleep better (in their beds, stop cat napping, sleep through the night, self-settle), there are gentle sleep training methods that can help them get there without crying it out.
Babies’ response to Sleep Training:
We need to acknowledge that babies respond to most changes strongly (weaning off breastfeeding, starting daycare, having a nanny, sharing with each other and older siblings, etc.), and changes to sleep aren’t any different. It’s okay for them to react to changes we introduce.
Babies often react with crying. After all, it’s their main means of communication. Yet it doesn’t mean they are hurting or in pain. They are likely confused, frustrated, annoyed, upset, or disappointed, and aren’t sure how to handle the situation yet. They need our help to deal with the changes, to guide them through and show them what is possible.
As with anything new skill babies learn, they need time to practice. For that they need to feel safe experimenting, they need support to co-regulate when things are hard, and they need to feel we trust them. The latter is essential, as babies can tell when we are nervous or anxious, which unsettles them and leads to a chain reaction. When emotional safety and trust aren’t in place, learning anything is either unsuccessful, challenging, or downright unpleasant.
Sleep training and twins’ sleep needs:
When done well, learning to settle in bed, and for older babies, to self-settle, helps babies sleep better, longer, and more predictably. This includes sufficient sleep during the day (long enough naps), and solid night's sleep. Sleep regulates appetite, mood, and is vital for development and memory consolidation. Therefore, helping your twins learn to sleep better has myriad benefits for their well-being.
True, some tears are involved in the process of sleep training (as mentioned above). It makes sense. We are changing weeks, and at times months, of habits (for both babies and parents), and babies have a lot to say about that. But that doesn’t mean we can’t help them learn new settling skills with love, patience, support, and attentiveness, even when there are two of them.
Sleep training for twins can be done in tandem or one by one. There is no one way to do anything, and this principle applies here too. It depends on you, your babies’ needs, the help you have at home (or don’t), your parenting style, and your family’s dynamic.
When it comes to sleep training twins:
There is no one way you should or shouldn’t sleep train your twins. It boils down to what is right for your family.
You can 100% help your twins sleep better in their beds, and with time, learn to self-settle, without having to go through the nerve-wracking process of Cry it Out.
It takes time, it takes patience, it takes consistency. Yet you can help your twins learn to sleep better gently, responsively, and lovingly. This can be achieved with you in the room or out of the room (not in a Cry it Out manner), and the end result is going to be the same. Babies who can sleep better, longer, and independently.
When babies sleep better and longer during the day and night, they are less tired, thus have more pleasant times playing, learning, exploring, interacting, and eating. Their tolerance threshold is higher, and they can persevere through challenges with more ease…. and so are their parents.
You can learn more about twin sleep consultation in my “Parents' Guide to Twin Sleep Consultation”.
You can find more free twin sleep guides and tips here.
If you want to help your twins learn to self-settle or work on better sleep habits, find out how my gentle twin sleep training methods can help you and them sleep better in a free discovery call below. Or book your twin sleep consultation today!