Babies’ Sleep Associations
What are Babies’ sleep associations?
If your babies are used to falling asleep on you, they’ll become dependent on you to help every time they go to sleep and each time they wake and need re-settling. If a baby is rocked to sleep or is falling asleep while feeding, they wouldn’t have the opportunity to learn how to fall asleep on their own. These become strong sleep associations for your babies, and they learn to rely on them for settling. Which means they will rely on your help each time they wake up. Your coming into the room and picking them up each time to soothe them can take quite a toll on you. Furthermore, they learn to expect it, and are not likely to settle without your assistance.
With the guidance of RIE, an approach to putting your babies to sleep will involve respect, trust, patience, observation, and consistency.
Keep in mind what is the message you are giving your babies. The message I wish to give the babies when I put them to sleep, is the same one I give them during the the day: I trust you, you are capable, I’m here if you need me. This translates into the following actions with sleep: I will maintain regular sleep times and consistent rituals. I will try and pick them up as little as possible if they wake up, and focus on settling them in bed using my voice and gentle touch. When babies can predict what you’ll do each time you enter the room, it will be easier for them to accept your actions and they will cooperate with you more readily. Introducing independent sleep associations can help twins learn to settle on their own and feel safe in their bed.
Co-dependent sleep associations:
Feeding
Rocking
Swinging
Walking with baby in arms
Bouncing
Tapping
Singing
Independent sleep associations:
Dummy/pacifier
Cuddly/lovey (from 7m according to Red Nose, Australia)
Swaddle/PJ
White noise
Dark room (preferably the same room every time)
Cot/crib
How Sleep RITUALS can help twins with sleep associations
Having a consistent sleep ritual is very effective for helping babies transition from wakefulness to sleep. Once implemented, they recognise the steps and can mentally and emotionally prepare to go to sleep.
You can read more about sleep rituals here.
Choosing an age-appropriate settling technique that suits your twins’ temperaments (twins don’t necessarily have the same temperaments) and your parenting style - is key. Using the same technique for settling and re-settling will help the babies respond better to your settling efforts.
The more we communicate to the babies how capable and resourceful they are, the less scared and panicked they get when waking up. If, for example, when they wake up in tears, we rush to the room and scoop them out of bed - we communicate to them we are practically “rescuing” them. They will then feel helpless, terrified, and stressed out when their sleep is cut short. When babies know how to go to sleep and know how to re-settle themselves back to sleep, they will feel confident doing that when sleep is disturbed.
While sleep associations can take some time to change, it’s always possible. Teaching your twins to self-settle can help them adopt new independent sleep associations that will empower them to settle, and re-settle, on their own.
Strong co-dependent sleep associations can often make settling and re-settling rather challenging for both parents and babies. This can lead to babies cat napping rather than sleeping full sleep cycles, and struggling to consolidate sleep cycles.
You can learn more about sleep training your twins to implement good sleeping habits with my “Parents' Guide to Twin Sleep Consultation”.
You can find more free sleep guides and tips here.
To find the right settling technique for you and your twins, book your twin sleep consultation package or find out more about how my twin sleep training can help your family in a free discovery call today.